18 Annoying Playing Partners

We all look forward to getting out on the course, having a good walk, enjoying the fresh air and spending time with our friends whilst we do it, but sometimes those sharing the fairways with you can make you wish you’d just stayed at home!

Drawing on a lot of personal experience, here are just some of those playing partners that can ruin a perfectly good round…

Mr Broken Calculator…

After taking 3 off the tee, a couple of hacks on the fairway and 2 attempts to get out of the greenside bunker, this guy will count back and put himself down for a rather unlikely 5. Be warned though, challenging him on his score will lead to him getting angry, and a period of negotiation will take him (begrudgingly for both of you)up to a 7 or 8.

Mr Cheat…

Despite smashing a driver deep, deep into the woods, Mr Cheat resists the obvious solution of playing a provisional. After the final tee shot of the group has been played he’ll race off quicker than Usain Bolt to announce that his ball has miraculously bounced out of the trees and into the first cut of rough. Mr Cheat also never has a bad lie in a bunker and shares the numerical skills of Mr Broken Calculator.

Mr Boring…

At the course on his own due to running out of playing partners, be prepared for several hours of dull chat that can cover any range of subjects that can bore any other golfer into a trance like state. A personal lowlight for me was the gent who spent a good hour talking me through the recent changes in parking restrictions in his home town!

Mr Golfing Gadget…

Whilst the coloured disks in fairways and 150 yard marker posts have long been sufficient for the amateur golfer, the advent of new technology means Mr Golfing Gadget (generally with a 20+ handicap) now has the advantage of GPS to give an exact measurement of his yardage to every area of the green. This information is promptly used to duff the ball 10 yards and then start the agonising measurement routine again.

Mr New Clubs…

Rocking up in the car park you’ll promptly see a gleaming set of brand new top of the range clubs being pulled out. Firmly believing that lessons are for the weak (he may use US Masters winner Bubba Watson to back him up on this), he instead lavishes his cash on only the latest and greatest equipment. The fact he has no idea how to use them is of course not his fault, he merely needs to adjust the face on his driver, and perhaps look at getting it taken in for a new shaft.

Mr No Lost Cause…

No matter how precarious the hazard that an errant shot has flown into, this golfer will be hell bent on finding his ball. Often heard muttering under his breath “I can’t lose another one” he’ll tackle environments that David Attenborough and Bear Grylls would think twice about venturing into in the vain hope of finding his ball. Will inevitably return with a couple of other balls, but never his own and then will begrudgingly take a drop, but only after one last look.

Mr Pro…

Despite only leading by a couple of strokes, that is more than enough for Mr Pro to decide that he is the man to help fix the ailments in his playing partners swings. Nothing delights him more than placing a ball down from where you were and playing the shot himself, commenting on how easy it is to play it. Mr Pro is therefore the most satisfying partner to beat.

Mr Mulligan…

After hitting a tee shot that travels a maximum of 20 yards and not in a straight line, Mr Mulligan can be seen sprinting off after the ball, collecting it and running back to the tee to take it again. Playing partners will not be consulted on this decision and any protests are met with a kind offer to have one yourself later in the round.

Mr Angry…

Even if not quite on our game, most of us manage to keep our emotions in check, Mr Angry however does not. His frustration is generally vented as he feels he should be do better on all holes, despite his high handicap. Cue a vicious circle that sees shots hit with little care or regard, creating even more anger. Be warned, clubs may fly, the air may be turned blue and jokes will not be appreciated.

Mr Cowboy…

Mr Cowboy can usually be identified early on due to his willingness to have a couple of quid on the round to ‘make things interesting’ claiming that a 28 handicap will make him easy to beat, especially as he hasn’t played the course. Cue 18 holes of bullet drives, laser accurate approaches and putts dropping from all angles to hit a sub 80 round. Your disbelief and questioning of the handicap will likely be met with a shrug of the shoulders and the claim that you should have seen him last week.

Mr Optimistic…

Despite the green still being well over 220 yards away, Mr Optimistic will tell his playing partners (who have a shorter approach) to play first, because if he really catches it he’ll probably hit the guys ahead. The time spent waiting for the others to play and the green to clear will see him take numerous practice swings before thinning it into a bunker 80 yards down the right.

Mr Never Satisfied…

We’ve all played with this one. Generally a low handicapper, the better they are the less satisfied they are. After hitting a sweetly struck iron from 200 yards to 15ft, a shot that would have higher handicappers thrilled, they are left feeling gutted that they didn’t hole it, or at least keep it within 6ft.

Mr Rules…

Here at Your Golf Travel we don’t believe in cutting corners, and always play by the rules, but sometimes when it is a friendly match we may be willing to let a couple of minor indiscretions slide, but not Mr Rules. With a pocket guide to the rules of the game in his bag at all time he’ll happily send you back from where you came to take a shot again and deny you a 2 inch gimme, making a speedy round impossible.

Mr Buggy…

One of the best bits of golf is getting out in the fresh air for a nice walk, especially if you’ve been sat in an office all week. Not Mr Buggy though. Whether laziness, wanting to flash the cash or just drive around like an idiot, you’ll be left walking the fairways alone if you have this playing partner. Whizzing off into the distance after tee shots they will invariably head straight for their own ball whilst trying to shoot their very own low budget car chase sequence on a camera phone.

Mr Trick Shot…

This high handicapper was watching Phil Mickelson open up the face of his 60 degree wedge at the Masters in awe, and has watched more ‘Top 10 Tiger shots’ videos on YouTube than you knew existed, so has decided that he can do it too. Cue full swings from under trees, thinned attempts at flop shots and maybe even the back of the club being used to get out of the danger that was found when the last trick shot went wrong.

Mr Queue Jumper…

You’re putting a good round together and this is reflected in having the honour to tee off first at the next hole, but not if this chap has anything to do with it. Showing a blatant disregard for the rules and sportsmanship, he’ll bound up to the tee box and hack a chunk of turf the size of a small village before you get a chance to pull a tee out as he starts the trudge towards another 9. A poor playing partner for Mr Rules.

Mr Long Drive…

Standard tee box chit chat will invariably comparing what you and your playing partner are going to play, and just to prove how hard and far he can hit it, Mr Long Drive will always go with a club less. “You’re hitting an 8-iron? An easy 9 ought to do it.” He will invariably end up short of the green, claiming the wind must have held it up.

Mr High & Mighty…

Found exclusively amongst only the best golfers out there. He will have (or at least claim to have) played off scratch at some point in his golfing life, so anyone with a double digit handicap is not considered good enough to be in his company. Should he be unlucky enough to be paired with someone less gifted, expect to see a roll of the eyes and a loud sigh if you fail to hole a 40ft downhill eagle putt.

For your next golf holiday, whether it’s a weekend break to Celtic Manor or an exotic holiday to Mauritius, come to Your Golf Travel. We will ensure your holiday is so good even these nightmare playing partners couldn’t ruin it!