Sports commentary, in particular golf commentary, can be a world of predictable clichés and mundane repetition so the likes of the legendary Peter Alliss, also known as “The Voice of Golf” and David Feherty, the whimsical Northern Irish golfer-turned-CBS golf commentator-turned-popular golf writer-turned-Golf Channel inquisitor, can really brighten up an evening on the couch watching the golf.
Here we take a look at some of their best quotes, anecdotes and quips in an effort to decide who the best is. Old vs. New. Alliss vs. Feherty. Let’s get it on!
Alliss
On poor weather conditions during a tournament in Scotland…
“One of the good things about rain in Scotland is that most of it ends up as scotch.”
Speaking of scotch…it seems as if Peter has had a wee dram!
“Although it’s a narrow green, it’s a wide green.”
On the famous Faldo vs. Norman duel at the 1996 Masters…
“Look at that. Faldo looks a young man again, and poor old Greg, well he looks ready for his bus pass.”
On Tiger’s 3rd round 81 at the 2002 Open Championship at Muirfield…
“It’s like turning up to hear Pavarotti sing and finding out he has laryngitis.”
On idiotic “get in the hole” screams from the gallery on the PGA Tour…
“Oh, he’s here again. Chloroform please nurse.”
On golf itself…
“It is not a matter of life and death. It is not that important. But it is a reflection of life, and so the game is an enigma wrapped in a mystery impaled on a conundrum.”
Listen to Alliss commentating on Miguel Angel Jimenez’s hilarious warm up routine at the 2011 Open Championship:
Feherty
On giving up alcohol…
“I didn’t quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it’s not even a challenge any more.”
On Tiger following another one of his miracle, “only person on the planet capable of it” shots to nothing…
“I just stood there watching him walk past and thinking, ‘I don’t know what that is, but I know there weren’t two of them on Noah’s Ark.’ “
On Phil “The Thrill” Mickelson’s maverick, sometimes ill advised yet always entertaining approach to golf…
“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”
On Jim Furyk’s swing…
“It looks like a one armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth”
After seeing a hooked drive sail miles left of the intended target…
“That ball is so far left Lassie couldn’t find it even if it was wrapped in bacon.”
On flop shots…
“Watch out nostrils…this is a lob wedge.”
Watch Feherty tell an amusing story about Ernie Els and Tiger Woods:
