Christmas Shopping - What NOT to buy for the golfer in your life!

In the golden days of my youth Christmas morning was the most exciting time of the year…not least because of the exciting bevy of gifts that were about to come my way. However… while I still love Christmas, my expectation levels relating to gifts have somewhat lowered since my youth. Don’t get me wrong…I am no Scrooge. I know Christmas isn’t all about the material things but let’s be honest…we all enjoy receiving presents! Well…that is unless you are a golfer. Every year we golfers have to spend the days leading up to Christmas practicing our fake smiles and lines that we hope will go some way to convincing a loving relative that your new electronic scorecard will make you the talk of your local golf club!

It sounds selfish I know but it is becoming increasingly difficult to look thrilled at what is so evidently disappointing…and utterly useless! It’s like trying to smile after fluffing a succession of bunker shots; it’s possible but rarely convincing. At least with bunkers you eventually get out, but with Christmas there’s no escape! As the saying goes, “it never hurts to help”, so we have come up with a list of classic, useless golfing gifts that non-golfers would do well to avoid this year!

Incred-a-Ball

If you struggle with the flat stick, can’t seem to buy a putt and have no morals whatsoever then why not get your hands on an Incred-a-Ball. The Incred-a-Ball is a remote control golf ball that will banish three putts for good. Hopefully your playing partners won’t notice the remote control in your hand…and won’t find it strange to see a golf ball endlessly circling the hole until it drops. We suggest you should just practice the conventional method!

Swiss Army style – multi-tool – golf gadget

“Surely this will be useful” thinks the non golfer while they are scouring the internet for golf related gifts to give at Christmas. Well…this tool that can do just about everything is good for just about nothing! Odds are this will make it into the golf bag…where it will stay for good!

Hook n Slice

This is an ingenious (not) solution to conditioning your swing to produce arrow straight shots every time you strike a ball. Just click the Hook n Slice onto the bottom of your clubs shaft and swing away. The Hook n Slice will then give you instant feedback and tell you whether you have hit a hook, a slice or a good shot. We have highlighted a few problems with this revolutionary product.

a) It impedes your vision and you can no longer see the golf ball at address.

b) It throws the weight and the balance of your club off thus producing erratic shots.

c) Audible feedback on your shot is unnecessary as all golfers already have a tool for detecting a hook or a slice…their eyes!

Golf Ball Monogrammer

This marvellous contraption allows you to stamp a ‘permanent’ mark on your golf balls. It also reshapes the ball, rendering it pretty useless. A permanent marker does the job just fine!

The Ying-Yang Golf Stone

Simply, this is a stone that golfers carry with them on the course. Rubbing said stone will allow the golfer to experience a good ‘chi’ thus instantly transforming said player into Tiger Woods. No more duffed chips; no more pulled putts and no more hooked drives…all from rubbing a stone! We think not.

Pop-A-Putt

If you’re the kind of golfer who dabbles in a bit of matchplay you will know the feeling of praying for your opponents putt to lip out or miss completely. Thankfully these unsporting thoughts are thing of the past thanks to the Pop a Putt. This clever little plastic device sits in the bottom of the cup and when a ball is holed the spring loaded contraption releases and fires the ball back onto the green. It may become suspicious when you insist on ‘checking the hole for faults’ before each one of your playing partner’s putts but here’s to trying!

Electronic Scorecard

Just in case you are not able to count past ten…or use a pencil and a normal scorecard.

URO Club

We have all been caught short on the golf course and been left to scramble into the nearest woods to relieve ourselves when nature calls. Thankfully the URO Club has solved that problem and now we can pee in the middle of the fairway and no one will know! Just pull out your URO Club, remove the cap, protect your dignity with a handy green towel, known as the ‘privacy shield’, and let it flow. Of course that means you will be playing the rest of the round with what is essentially a bottle of urine in your bag. You surely must also remove one of your actual golf clubs to make room for your stylish catheter. We will just stick to the trees!

Golf Ball Returner

Pop this contraption into the hole on the practice putting green and every putt that you hole will be returned to your feet. One problem…you’re going to have to go and retrieve the balls that you missed anyway!

Luckily Your Golf Travel are also on hand to suggest exactly what you shoudl be buying for the special golfer in your life this year…Golf in a Box includes a one night, two rounds golf break package from one of our ten most popular venues as well as a box of golfing goodies that will get you through the weekend.

Click here for information on Golf in a Box.