In a world where professional sport, golf more than many, is receiving unprecedented levels of coverage and analysis we have had to learn to put up with mundane commentary – Peter Aliss aside of course – and punditry that is so repetitive and full of clichés that often the best option is to mute the TV and watch our beloved golf in silence! That is unless former Ryder Cup player David Feherty is on air!
But with the sad news that David’s 19-year broadcasting career has come to an end, here are a few of his best one-liners.
Quotes:
On giving up alcohol:
“I didn’t quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it’s not even a challenge any more.”
On Gary Player’s unsubstantiated suggestion that performance-enhancing drugs are rife in modern pro golf:
“Gary thinks he invented fitness because he used to do push-ups on the airplane. He’s just upset because you can’t win a major any more with a low, flat hook and a Napoleon complex.”
Golf Legend 0 – Punditry legend in the making 1!
On the life advice given to Michelle Wie by her parents who thought it would be a good move to encourage their then-16 year old daughter to compete on the PGA Tour:
“She could be adopted by Britney Spears and be better off. I want my 16-year-old daughter to have an enormous phone bill, a case of the giggles and to be pissed off at me for killing her first three boyfriends. I do not want her out on Tour under that kind of pressure.”
On Tiger Woods:
The first time he ever watched him play, Woods had hit the ball into deep rough alongside a large root and was left with a horrendous lie. Feherty said on-air that the only available option was to hit a wedge out sideways and try and scramble a par. Tiger promptly hit one of his miracle shots, a towering, sweeping slice with a 2-iron that rolled to within 12 feet of the flag. When describing his reaction to the shot, Feherty said, “I just stood there watching him walk past and thinking, ‘I don’t know what that is, but I know there weren’t two of them on Noah’s Ark.’ “
On Jim Furyk’s swing:
“It looks like a one armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth”
Upon seeing a tour player hook a ball miles left of his intended target:
“That ball is so far left Lassie couldn’t find it even if it was wrapped in bacon.”
On Phil “The Thrill” Mickelson’s maverick and sometimes downright destructive approach to golf:
“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”
ANECDOTES:
On Phil again…
“Phil is brilliant, but he’s nuts. There’s something not quite right about that boy. Phil is watching a movie that only Phil can see. His mother told me, ‘Phil was so clumsy as a little boy, we had to put a football helmet on him until he was 4 because he kept bumping into things.’ I told her, ‘Mary, Mary, I’m a writer, you can’t keep handing me material like this.’ So the next time I saw Phil I said, ‘You didn’t really wear a football helmet in the house until you were 4, did you?’ He said, ‘It was more like 5.’ “
Ultimate Peer Respect…
Feherty is a great commentator, just wish we got to see more of him over this side of the pond. Some of his quips are hilarious, not really sure how he gets away with some of them!
David Feherty live on air quote from coverage of the Farmers Insurance Golf Open last night…
Inane American commentator: “David, would you say that Tiger Woods is having Palipitations at this moment?”
Feherty… “Ehm, I wouldn’t personally, as I don’t believe it’s a word.”
Me and the buddies always enjoy Feherty and his approach to golf,,,and life. We would love to see him more mainstream as the world of golf is better with his take on it.
Feherty adds a dimension to the game of golf that I find irresistible. Grateful always for his help in keeping the game exciting and amusing…. It’s a game, it’s supposed to be fun.
Ha ha – some great quotes from Feherty!
Some executive idiot at CBS just made a huge mistake. David Feherty is the best there is!
Need more of Feherty, sport is dwindling
I actually wrote these quotes down last winter watching a tape of a PGA championship from a few years earlier.
Feherty on Rory lie “this lie has a sleep number”
Feherty on Rory drive “anything spending that much time in the air should show a movie on it”.
Feherty says on ball buried in rough “if you were hiding Easter eggs the kids would never find this one’
The Spike Milligan of Golf Commentators, love him.
Please don’t tell me David, will no longer be on the golf course. I love to listen call the game and the interviews. Please let me know. Thank you, Sue Redding
David told a joke at his show in Edmonton, Alberta in January of 2016. Was hilarious but can’t remember it all. What was the joke?
just an average wordsmith that appears as a standout in a sport that only allows the spectators to cheer.
Feherty once came to the Mississauga Arts Centre to speak on his career, and I got a chance to ask him after his show “Hey, you must have played with Seve Ballesteros on the Euro tour, he was a crazy shotmaker. What was the most ridiculous save you’ve ever seen from him?”
And Feherty said…
“Well I’ve seen a bunch, but there’s one that springs to mind. We were playing match play on the European Tour, me and my partner were +1 on Seve and his partner on the 17th. After our drives, me, my partner, and Seve’s partner were on in two, but Seve is 100 yards back in a deep, English-sized fairway bunker.
I remember whispering to my teammate ‘Looks like we got this one in the bag.’
Seve climbs into the bunker with a 4 iron. He blasts the shot into the lip, and it comes out at a 45 degree angle some eighty feet in the air, travels the 100 yards, and he’s closest to the pin. All of our jaws are on the floor. Seve turned to us and said ‘What? It’s… how you say in English… Bank shot, no? Bah!’ They tied us on 18 and won in the playoff”