1) The 3,000 mph Flop Shot
Plan: Unleash your inner Seve and lay the face of your 60 degree wedge as open as possible, make a full blooded swing to pop the ball straight up in the air so it lands softly beside the pin.
Result: With thoughts of “watch out nostrils, this is a lob wedge” running through your head, you manage to catch this one thin, sending it screaming over the green and into the cabbage some 75 yards away. Time to reload…
2) The “That was given, right?”
After a fine lag putt to tap in range, you approach the impending 6-incher, planning your next tee shot and thinking a par is safely in the bag. As many a golfer has proved time and time again though, any putt can be missed and when this little tiddler passes by the hole it signals the last gimme you’ll ever get!
3) The Paint Stripper
You have just taken delivery of your brand new driver and you’re on the 1st tee, as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning, eagerly awaiting your next 300 yard drive. Cue a full blooded swipe at ball and the removal of a healthy portion of paint from the crown of your new toy as the ball rockets skywards. Ouch.
4) The Boomerang
A shot hooked or sliced with so much physics-defying curve that the ball almost makes it back to where it started from. This shot is best saved for holes where there is another fairway running parallel to the one you are aiming for but is more likely to come when internal out of bounds or a forest is looming large. Three off the tee…
5) The Duff in front of the Clubhouse
With a strong case of stage fright already making things tricky you step up to your opening shot of the day which just so happens to be right in front of a packed out clubhouse. Cue the obligatory duff or stone-cold top and the red face that follows. You may reload and pretend it never happened but there is no escaping this time…everyone saw it happen! Don’t get too relaxed if you escape this shot on the first tee either as it will no doubt catch up with you when the time comes to hit your approach to the last.
If you do miss an easy putt, don’t embarrass yourself further by doing this!
6) The Return to Sender
The Plan: Dispatch your tee shot straight and true down the middle of the fairway.
The Result: Your ball evades the meat of the clubface and cannons into a nearby tree / bench / railway sleeper and, coupled with shouts of “INCOMING!” it returns straight back to you like a well trained dog or worse still, further away from the hole than it started!
7) The Dreaded “S” Word
This nasty little bugger is the worst of the lot. Sat plum in the middle of the fairway feeling oh so proud of your last drive, the inexplicable shank comes out of nowhere and your ball takes off at a right angle from the intended target.
The fact that “the shanks” are then often with you until the end of your round means this one is a real score wrecker. NR anyone?
